What a miserable dreary day the weather gods have spread across the land today. Wife and I started feeling cramped in and needed to get out, But what to do? what to do? The only thing we really could without driving and hour or more...we went to Target.
We arrived in the parking lot and LilGuns shits him self and gets hungry right away. At 7 weeks this kid is chugging a 4-7 ounce bottle every two hours. WTF gonna happen when he's 13? Anyway, wife jumps into the back seat and fed him. Then we laid the front car seat down like a changing table to swap out his diaper.
Wife: " Here hold this and throw it out when we get inside." meaning the mustard shit filled diaper.
Me: doe-dee-doe "ok." I had to piss like a race horse anyway, so the bathroom was my first move and I could toss it there. So, I fold up the diaper really carefully and stick it in my pocket.
And then we shop. l.e.d christmas lights, wrapping paper, boob pads...all kinds of shit.
2 hours later we are driving home and I stick my hand in my pocket..."oh jezzes.. whats' thi...oh no!' I pull out the diaper. i forgot all about it and it now had leaked pee and yellow poo of course. inside my jacket pocket. Now im holding it. awesome. so gross. and without any better option I put it back in my pocket.
Luckily having dogs has desensitized me to some gross things with poo and dog shit stinks WAY worse, so I was able to keep myself under control and get straight home.
I'm sure this will not be the last gross thing that happens. Probably this was just the first really good one.Hey whatcha gonna do? I mean really...just look at him?
Wife: " Here hold this and throw it out when we get inside." meaning the mustard shit filled diaper.Me: doe-dee-doe "ok." I had to piss like a race horse anyway, so the bathroom was my first move and I could toss it there. So, I fold up the diaper really carefully and stick it in my pocket.
And then we shop. l.e.d christmas lights, wrapping paper, boob pads...all kinds of shit.
2 hours later we are driving home and I stick my hand in my pocket..."oh jezzes.. whats' thi...oh no!' I pull out the diaper. i forgot all about it and it now had leaked pee and yellow poo of course. inside my jacket pocket. Now im holding it. awesome. so gross. and without any better option I put it back in my pocket.
Luckily having dogs has desensitized me to some gross things with poo and dog shit stinks WAY worse, so I was able to keep myself under control and get straight home.
I'm sure this will not be the last gross thing that happens. Probably this was just the first really good one.Hey whatcha gonna do? I mean really...just look at him?
it is only the beginning dear... lots of food and plunging a toilet... its all part of parenting a boy....
ReplyDelete**sssmmmm***
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's what I thought.
Seriously Sunshine, I agree!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's bowels calmed a bit after three or four months. But jeez! My boy!
He still poops his own weight (35 lbs at 24 months) each and every day.
Seriously, whenever there is a substitute day care teacher we always get a call .... "um Mrs. Hall, Mac had four poopy diapers today...." then i say, "I know, I know, it should be on his card or something, but this is usual for him"
But yeah, SOOO CUTE!!
And you know you are a parent when you have discussions like this, about going to target because that is the only place to go. And discussing your kid's bowels.
AND BLOGGING ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!
But, again, all worth it because I mean.... look at him!
Well, at least at my son's new day care, they are all about the potty training at his age.
:)
Holly
He's ADORABLE!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd NO WAY.......CAT SHIT stinks
WAY more worse than dog shit. When I'm on the lawn at work, I always can detect when some stray cat has left some turds nearby...and no, they don't always cover it...there's just *NO* mistaking that smell.
And yes, having pets really does desensitize you. Barf, poop, pee, nothing freaks me out anymore.
Hey Joe,
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with your part about dogs.Over here, I'm the dog "pooper scooper", including when the big one happens in the house.
I swear; both FIL & hubby look like their going to faint each time the dog leaves a pile or a puddle !!
Yeah, shit happens ;)
Dig that smile on Lil guns :)
Isn't it wonderful? I have two sons. Treasure those little yellow filled diapers now...it's gonna get worse (smell wise) before it gets better. Oh...and puleeze teach him not to pee on the potty!!!!!
ReplyDeleteindygirl. i was think we start out learning to pee off the back porch. then move to the potty.
ReplyDeletebut that won't be for a little while.
Oh Gawd... you made me gag! You haven't lost your touch even after all these years.
ReplyDeleteAh ha ha! Awesome Joe.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think you'd forget to take the diaper out, but you did! And yes, I think kiddy shit is way worse than any animal shit, hands down.
And we shop keepers HATE it when you parents dump your poopy diapers in our waste baskets.
Unless Target has some special diaper pail in their bathrooms..
Lil'guns is looking just perfect. What a proud papa you must be.
I just can't wait for Uncle to start teaching guitar.
ReplyDeletewow...can't wait for motherhood. your babe is so cute. the last time I changed a diaper was babysitting when I was in college...touching some other person's baby's poo is even grosser!
ReplyDeleteNubia. you will definitely want to read my upcoming Birth Story post.
ReplyDeleteOH I can't WAIT to hear that post, Joe!!! :)
ReplyDeleteDon't have 'little shits,' and live quietly with your girlfriend. It's nice. Kids zap every ounce of your being. Don't bother having them just because your friends are!
ReplyDelete