Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Gross Baby Story

This tale must be shared. It is not uncommon but must be documented for the purposes of this blog as that  I hope one day my son will discover these writings of mine and understand more of my life and his. No pictures please.

Early this morning as we were preparing for work.  The boy and I were in the kitchen.  He was naked from the waste down because mom asked me to leave his bottom bare to air out the undercarriage. I was getting milk from the refrigerator while the boy was pulling tea and spices from the cabinets.  I turned back to look at him and Im like 'When the fuck did the dog shit on the floo...aawwwh crap.

Yep. LG dropped lumber on the kitchen floor AND was standing in it. 

I picked him up to bring him to the changing table, just as a do...'doink'  -poo covered foot, meet Dads shirt. 

I clean up the bulk poo quickly and yell out from mom, who cant hear anything over the whine of the hair dryer. We scoot over to the bathroom for her to clean the shit from between his toes.

With my shirt removed I move right back into the kitchen to disposed of the soft log and manage this hazardous waste clean up. 

The End.  When is fathers day again? I'm asking for something good.


  1. Aw, that's nothing. I once heard a horror story of *while changing a diaper* getting a #2 spray-to the face.

  2. oh believe me, I know it could have been worse.

  3. Oh man... I knew I should have waited until I had lunch before reading this.... ewwww. Once, when you were a baby and I was changing you, you peed in my face. It only happened once. From that moment onward, I always covered your hydrant when changing you. :-)

  4. hahah thats great! i just visited my sister-in-law and hung out with my 8-month old nephew Andrew. He's teething. I've never seen someone put so many foreign objects in his mouth!!! Classic